The Cost of Immortality
by Rales12
Summary: The last year at Hogwarts brings some new things to Tom Riddle. He gets the girl he loves and makes an attempt for immortality. But immortality comes with a large cost... will Tom be able to pay it?
1. Chapter One

Tom Marvolo Riddle was going into his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. He sat alone in the train compartment on the Hogwarts Express. For, though he was an intelligent and handsome young man, nobody really liked him. You see, Tom wasn't exactly the nicest kid in all of Slytherin. Tom enjoyed bullying the other kids. He never got in trouble for it, however, because he was also a suck-up to the teachers, and most of all, the headmaster, Professor Dippet.  
  
Tom was absorbed in his thoughts when there was a knock at his compartment door, and then the door opened to reveal Tom's crush of six years; Courtney McRaven. She was an average looking girl, not extremely beautiful, but yet, not ugly either. She had flat brown hair, aqua green eyes and a small nose. Freckles were spread thinly over her face. Although she wasn't pretty, she was very sweet to everybody; Tom liked her for that.  
  
Courtney came in, saw Tom, smiled brightly at him, and asked, "Is it OK if me and my friends sit in here? Nobody else will let us." Tom looked at her for a moment, and then nodded his head in response.  
  
"Thank you so much! We won't be too bothersome, I promise." Then turning towards the two girls behind her, Courtney beckoned them in. The girls took their seats and talked quietly about their summers for most of the trip. Occasionally, they would ask Tom some questions, but for the most part, kept to themselves.  
  
When the train began to slow down, the girls left to go change into their robes. Tom, who had changed right when he had gotten onto the train, stayed put, thinking about the year to come.  
  
That evening, after the feast, Tom led the first years to the Slytherin Common Room. He explained briefly about where the dormitories were and then he turned and went to wards his own dormitory, where he changed into his pyjamas and promptly fell asleep.  
  
That night, Tom dreamt about his father and grandparent's death that summer. Tom had been the one responsible; he had been the one who performed the curse them...and intentionally. He had killed them with the Avada Kedavra curse.  
  
Tom awoke the next morning completely refreshed. He got dressed and then headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
Upon arriving, he sat down and was passed his schedule. He glanced down at it, not really caring. Transfiguration with Professor Dumbledore first, he thought, great.  
  
Tom hated Dumbledore. Dumbledore had been on his case since he had gotten Rubeus Hagrid expelled. He finished his breakfast and headed towards the Transfiguration classroom.  
  
When he got there, he was that Courtney was already there, as was everybody else. Tom went to the back of the room and sat down at an empty desk.  
  
"Riddle! Why do you insist on sitting in back? According to the other teachers, you always sit in the front. Do you not like me, or what? Look, here, I reserved a seat for you in front." Tom looked at the auburn-haired teacher in disgust. "Fine then." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement.  
  
Dumbledore called role and then started the class, his tall frame wondering up and down the aisles, teaching kids how to do the different Transfigurations.  
  
After Transfiguration, Tom had Potions. Tom didn't really like Potions, even though the Potion's Master was his favorite teacher. Potions wasn't Tom's strong point...but he got high points in there anyway...mostly from sucking-up.  
  
Tom went in and sat down in the front row. His teacher, Professor Brookes, walked in right as the bell rang. Brookes was the head of Slytherin house, which was why Tom liked her.  
  
Brookes was of average height, and she was rather thin. Her hair was a brown so dark it was almost black, and she wore it chopped unevenly at the base of her ears. Her eyes were a cold and hard blue-green. She wore spectacles that she kept on by a rather large and pointy nose.  
  
As Brookes walked in, she bade her favorite students "Hello" then went to the front of the dungeon-classroom. Pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill, she called out role, her voice an almost mannish deep. As soon as she was done with role call, she started her class.  
  
"This year in my class, you will be learning the practice of making potions that will reserve your strength. There are about forty different potions, and you all will be learning each and every one of them." She spent the rest of the class period naming and telling about each of the forty potions.  
  
After Potions, there was lunch. Tom went and sat by himself, reading a book about Dark Lords and what they had done to become known. Right in the middle of a paragraph, Courtney came and asked if it was OK if she sat by him. Nodding, he quickly closed his book and hid the title of it from her.  
  
"What were you reading? You looked very interested. Sorry if I interrupted you." Courtney said, trying to make conversation.  
  
"Oh...it was just a book about well-known wizards." Not a complete lie, he thought.  
  
"Oh. Tom? I am wondering...why do you sit by yourself all the time? Why don't you try to make some friends?" Curiosity was evident in her voice.  
  
"I don't need friends. 'Sides, nobody likes me anyway. Everybody just thinks that I am the 'smart freaky kid with no life' they are probably right." Tom refused to meet Courtney's eyes as he spoke. When at last he did, he was surprised to find a kind of sorrow there.  
  
"I don't think that. I have never thought that. I think you are a really nice and sweet kid." Blushing slightly, Courtney leaned towards him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then blushing furiously, she turned to leave, but Tom caught her arm.  
  
"Courtney...thanks for caring." He, too, was blushing, but only slightly. Courtney smiled in response then left, leaving Tom with his feelings.  
  
Tom was still thinking about Courtney when it was time to go to his next class; History of Magic. Tom sighed as he headed towards the classroom.  
  
Professor Binns was the teacher of History of Magic. Binns was an extremely old fellow, so old that some students wondered why he was not yet dead. Binns took no excitement in teaching, he droned on and on about the different magics in history.  
  
During History of Magic, Tom again thought about Courtney. He wondered, also, about her question, and his answer. Why didn't he try to make friends? The answer came to him almost immediately. He was scared.  
  
Him, Tom Riddle, scared. Scared of what? Scared of not being accepted, or to be made fun of. Tom mentally laughed to himself. How babyish it seemed to be scared of making friends. Just plain down babyish.  
  
History of Magic was the last class of the day. The bell was going to ring soon so Tom gathered his stuff together a couple minutes before it did so, an idea forming in his mind.  
  
He was going to tell Courtney his feelings towards her. It had taken him a lot of thought and a few minutes planning, but Tom knew he needed to tell her that...and everything else about himself. About murdering his father and grandparents. About getting Hagrid expelled, and about his heritage. He had decided that he owed her that much for her attitude towards him. He planned on doing it at dinner that night. 


	2. Chapter Two

Tom went to the Common Room after class and sat at a table under the pretense of doing homework. In reality, he was doodling and getting increasingly nervous. Finally, dinnertime came.  
  
Tom walked to the Great Hall, and sat down at his normal seat at the Slytherin table. He dished himself some food and ate it slowly, looking around for Courtney as he did so. About half-way through his dinner, he found her. She was walking into the Great Hall, by herself. Tom caught her eye and motioned her over. With a confused face, she headed towards him.  
  
"Hey Tom. What's up?" Courtney said, taking a seat next to him. She was hoping that this had nothing to do with her quick kiss earlier.  
  
Tom could tell that she thought that this was about earlier, so he started talking. "Hey Courtney. Umm...err...well, you see, I think there is some stuff you should know about me. Earlier...you basically said you like me, so I think you should know some stuff about me before you decide k?  
  
"First of all, I like you. I like you a lot. I always have." He looked deep in her eyes, sighed, and continued.  
  
"I am the last remained heir of Salazar Slytherin. My father was a Muggle and my mom was a witch, so I got it from her.  
  
"My mom died giving birth to me, and my father didn't want me, so I grew up in a Muggle orphanage, and that is where I spend my summer holidays. I absolutely hate it.  
  
"My father...I tracked him down, and I, well...Anyway, my father and both of his parents died this summer. I am not and was not saddened; after all, I did not know them. Besides that..." Tom hesitated, not sure he wanted to tell her. Her eyes, however, showed she was hungry to know more, so he told her. "Well...I killed them. I murdered the lot of them. I did it because my dad didn't love me...he deserved to die. Same as his parents. I didn't know what else to do, so I broke into their mansion and preformed the Killing Curse on them."  
  
Tom stopped now, and looked away. He took a deep breath and turned back to her. Looking in her eyes, he saw no horror, no repulsion, or anything like that. Again, he saw the sorrow, and an understanding. He closed his eyes to continue.  
  
"Remember a couple years ago, when the Chamber of Secrets was opened? I opened it. I opened it when I learned about it. Then, I had the fool, Hagrid, framed for it. He had been raising a giant spider, so I turned him in and said that he had been the one to open it. Dippet believed me and expelled him.  
  
"Earlier, you asked me about my lack of friends. Here is why. I bully the other kids. I always have. Nobody wants to be friends with a bully." Tom finally opened his eyes. "The thing is, Courtney, I don't feel ashamed about anything I have done. The fact is, I enjoyed it, all of it. I hope you still like me, but I won't blame you if you never talk to me again. I told you all of that, because I like you. I more than like you. I love you." Tom turned back to his dinner, hoping she would forgive him, and realized that he really did care if she did or didn't.  
  
Courtney was silent for a few minutes. Finally, she broke the silence. "Tom, I understand why you did all of that. I don't blame you; I probably would have done the same thing were our places switched. I like you too, Tom. I really and seriously do. And, I appreciate you telling me."  
  
Tom looked up at her, taken completely by surprise, though he tried to hide it. "Courtney? Do you think it weird that I want to be a well-known powerful wizard?" He looked at her sheepishly, half expecting her to say that yes, in fact, she did. But she surprised him yet again.  
  
"I knew it! I caught a glance at the cover of your book...The Dark Lords of the Century...that just gave me a hint. But tell me, does that book tell you what makes them Dark Lords? Like...what did they do to earn that title?"  
  
Tom hesitated, pondering his answer. "Er...I guess all they did was destroy stuff. It seems as though they all worked towards a common goal; immortality." Tom warmed up to the subject. "You see, none of these wizards accomplished their goal. One or two came close...but they were always destroyed before they had completed it. You see, I am reading up on this because-"Tom was cut off by the bell ringing, signaling the end of the meal. With an apologetic look, Courtney moved towards her friends. Tom got up and followed them to the Slytherin Common Room.  
  
Later that evening, while in the Owlery, Tom looked down one last time at the note he had written to Courtney. It read:  
  
Dear Courtney,  
  
I just want to finish the conversation we were having during dinner. I was saying that I am reading this stuff because I want to be immortal. And, I got a question...want to help me?  
  
One more thing...will you go out with me? There is a Hogsmeade trip in 2 weeks...are you interested?  
  
Love,  
  
Tom  
  
Nodding to himself, Tom tied the letter to an owl then went back to the Slytherin Common Room.  
  
About a week later, Courtney came and talked to Tom again at lunch.  
  
"Hey." She greeted with a smile. Tom noticed that she was playing with her hands in a nervous fashion.  
  
"Hey. What's up? You look nervous."  
  
"Er, I just wanted to apologize. I have been avoiding you since I got your letter...I wanted to time to think everything through before I talked to you again." She was still messing with her hands, but less nervously now.  
  
Tom looked at her expectantly. "What did you decide?"  
  
"I guess I should probably tell you that, eh?" She smiled faintly, "I decided that I will most definitely help you become immortal. I think it very interesting that you are interested in that, therefore, I am going to help.  
  
"And, about the other part...that is what I wanted to give some thought to before confronting you." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I decided that I find you very nice...I have told you that already, I believe, and I want to get to know you better. So, my final decision is this: I will be more than happy to go with you on the Hogsmeade trip...so long as we go as friends. I think we should get to know each other better before going into a relationship. You never know, you might not like me anymore when you really know me." She quit fiddling with her hands and placed them in her lap. "I hope you are not upset with me because of my decision. Are you?"  
  
Tom shook his head. "No, I am not upset. I just hope you decide you will go out with me before long." Courtney nodded her head a couple of times then got up and joined her friends. 


	3. Chapter Three

The Hogsmeade trip came on a Saturday. Courtney had agreed to meet Tom right outside the Slytherin entrance. Tom got there as quick as he could, and found himself there about five minutes early. He leaned against the wall and waited patiently for her to arrive.  
  
Courtney came right on time. She saw Tom and walked towards him. When she reached him, Tom noticed that her eyes were red and swollen, and that she was sniffing repeatedly. Tom caught her in an embrace and held her firmly there for a few minutes. Finally, Courtney stopped sniffling and looked up at Tom.  
  
"I'm sorry 'bout that. It's just that I just got an owl from my parents, and a very dear family friend has died." She sniffed again, and then wiped the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Oh. Are you OK?" Tom looked at her, not trying to disguise the deep sorrow he felt for her. "Do you still want to go to Hogsmeade? If you don't want to, I will stay here with you."  
  
"I still want to go; I wouldn't want to ruin your day." She took his arm in hers and together they walked towards the carriages that would take them there.  
  
Tom and Courtney talked the entire time. On the way there, Tom told her about his interests and his goals. Courtney, in turn, told him hers. They spent a majority of the time in a small pub drinking butter beer.  
  
As he learned more about her, Tom like Courtney more and more. Just listening to her talk made Tom happy, but he knew he could never be fully happy until she was his.  
  
When Courtney had finished telling Tom her dreams and whatnot, he spoke his thoughts aloud. "I know that we already talked about this, but I am wondering if you will go out with me.  
  
"Just getting to know you better today has encouraged me to ask you to please reconsider you last answer." Tom spoke almost without knowing he had done it, and when he had finished, he wished he hadn't said anything on the matter, so great was the embarrassment he felt. So, naturally, he was very surprised at her reply.  
  
"Somehow, I knew you would ask me again. I knew you would. It is such an odd feeling..." Courtney's voice trailed off as if she hadn't finished the thought. "But, I accept your offer this time! You make me truly happy, Tom." Smiling shyly, she leaned over and kissed him.  
  
When she pulled back, there was a loud "Awww" from around them. Looking quickly around, the two realized that the entire pub had been watching them.  
  
Both of them got up and left the pub, blushing beet red, though Courtney was giggling slightly.  
  
After leaving the pub, Tom and Courtney wandered aimlessly around, talking about anything and everything that came to mind. The subject of Tom's goal of immortality came up once.  
  
"So, have you learned anything new about how to become immortal?" Courtney asked.  
  
"No...not yet. The book I am reading doesn't say, exactly. It mentions several times that each Dark Lord wasn't mentally strong enough, simply because there was that last step he couldn't take. It doesn't, however, say what that last step might happen to be." Tom sighed as he finished. "I am not giving up hope though."   
  
Courtney nodded her understanding. "WE will have to find a book or SOMETHING that will tell us! The only place I can think of that might have a book like that is Knockturn Alley. I highly doubt that the library will have anything, even in the Restricted Section. It might be worth a try, looking in the Restricted Section might be." Tom nodded. She was right; it was unlikely that there would be anything in the library. But, how were they going to get into Knockturn Alley anytime soon? Tom voiced his question, still pondering it to himself.  
  
"Oh, that is simple enough. All we got to do is ask Professor Dippet if we could schedule a trip to Diagon Alley instead of Hogsmeade. Then, while everybody is in Diagon Alley, we could sneak off into Knockturn Alley, and buy what we need, sneak back, and then, shop a little in Diagon Alley, and what do you know? We got everything we need as far as research goes." Courtney grinned mischievously, but Tom glanced at her doubtfully.  
  
"It could work, but how about we check the library first? That way we would only be risking a detention, not suspension or expulsion." Tom made up an excuse. He doubted that Professor Dippet would allow them to take a trip to Diagon Alley. Courtney nodded reluctantly, and they moved on to different subjects.  
  
As soon as they were back at Hogwarts, that day at dinnertime, Courtney and Tom headed towards the library, planning on checking the unrestricted part of the library everyday during their free time hoping they could find something.  
  
They searched for an hour before deciding to give it up for the night. They compared their findings, but all either had found had been about the various witches or wizards who had attempted to become immortal.  
  
"But there are thousands of books in here...it could be in one of them. We will have to try again tomorrow." Tom optimistically concluded their brief talk.  
  
Try tomorrow they did. And all of their free time the next week and the next. They searched until, finally, at Christmastime; they decided to give it a break. Courtney was going home for the holidays and Tom didn't want to search by himself.  
  
As the holiday break wore on, Tom went to the library only a couple of times to do research, and only then because he was bored and had nothing better to do.  
  
On one of the occasions that he went to the library, he found a book that told him more about becoming immortal than he knew already, it told him, in fact, all he needed to know, and a little more. He quickly checked the book out and took it back to the Slytherin Common Room, where he sat down in a chair next to the fire and opened it to the first page to read it all the way through, having a feeling that it would reveal something to him that he needed to know on his journey to become immortal.  
  
There have been several hundred witches and wizards in the magical world to attempt to become immortal in the time since the idea was created. None of the ones who honestly thought they could do it succeeded. Immortality, it may seem, is impossible. But is it?  
  
It is hard to believe that somebody would just come up with the idea that life could go on forever, isn't it? Especially if they didn't truly mean that it could, or that there was even the slim chance or possibility. Nobody would make up something as absurd as that, and actually get the idea to stick with others. It is impossible. Therefore, to become immortal must be a possibility for all humans.  
  
How do I become immortal, you ask yourself. You have read through books and books that told of numerous witches and wizards who attempted, but none prevailed, doubtless. How very close to wrong that is.  
  
There has been a wizard who almost accomplished the goal of Immortality. The only reason he failed was because he was killed during the ritual; moments before he was immortal. The wizard called himself Merroc the Malice. The path he chose to take would have led him to greatness, had he been allowed to complete the ritual.  
  
To become immortal, one must have a very strong heart. You must remember that in the lifetime of one who is immortal, they will see everybody that they know and love pass away, but they will also see the changes around them, the changes of the land and the development of the people.  
  
The strength of your heart is tested during the ritual. If you are unable to complete that one requirement, you are not allowed to be immortal...there is only this one way, after all.  
  
Sure, there is the Elixir of Life...but that only lengthens your life. You stop using it, and you live for a short while longer and then you die. The only way the Elixir can keep you from dieing is if you use it for the rest of eternity, but even then you are not immortal, you are simply prolonging life, not completely giving up any chance of Natural Death.  
  
From there the book talked more and more about what it would mean to be immortal, the up side of it and the down side of it. Tom, not wanting to miss a single thing, didn't skip a thing. He read until 12:00 midnight, and then, book marking his page, he clambered slowly up to his dorm, where he changed into his nightclothes and fell into bed, asleep almost immediately.  
  
He slept until just past dawn, surprised that he was no longer tired; he had only had about 6 ½ hours of sleep. He stretched, showered, dressed, then wandered to the Great Hall where he practically inhaled his breakfast, so anxious was he to read more of his book.  
  
He entered the Slytherin Common Room in a rush, ran up to his dorm, snatched the book from his bedside table and ran back down to the Common Room. Settling back into the chair he had been in the night before, he continued to read.  
  
The book talked a bunch more about the risks of becoming immortal but the joys that should override them. It also gave several warnings that it was possible, after a couple hundred years, that the one who was immortal would get tired of life and wish that they could die of old age. Once they preformed the ritual of becoming immortal, it is done for the rest of all time. There is no way to make it otherwise...the witch or wizard would have to have somebody kill them with a very strong killing curse. Tom smiled grimly to himself. No boring moments would come in his life of immortality. Every last second of it would be full of...of what? Happiness? Of extreme power? Why was it that he wanted to be immortal? It would be a waste if he didn't use his time doing something would ensure people to respect him. What could he do?  
  
He answered the question almost immediately. It was obvious, what he would do. He would use his time killing and torturing people. He would make sure that his name was feared to be spoken upon the lips of every witch or wizard alive. Not just in England, but worldwide. He would not use his real name, but instead he would come up with one made from the re-arranged letters of his name, a name that he had already thought about. Lord Voldemort. If the letters of Tom Marvolo Riddle were arranged in just the right order, they spelt: I am Lord Voldemort.  
  
His thoughts about what he would do stopped suddenly as he finally reached the part he had been looking forward to the most. How to become Immortal. 


	4. Chapter Four

Now comes the part that you have undoubtedly been waiting for since you picked up this book. Now comes the part where you learn what it takes to become immortal. You are aware by now that not just any witch or wizard can become immortal. They have to have a strong heart, a willingness to succeed in this task, and the willingness to give up Natural Death. They must realize that once they are immortal, Natural Death is beyond their grip, that many people that they know and love will pass away without them, and that if they get tired of their life, they must find somebody who would kill them. Those are the bad things about it, now for the good.  
  
Once somebody becomes immortal, they don't have to worry about being or getting sick. They don't have to worry about old age. With their extended life, they are allowed to have chances to see things that they always wanted to see before they die, they have the chance to see humankind die out. They have the time to acquire knowledge to the greatest extent to the point where they could be considered the wisest person of all time. Overall, they are given extra chances, and I hope they use them.  
  
To become immortal, one must figure out if they have a strong enough heart. There is only one way to prove that they do, and that is to watch the one they love the most pass away into the World of the Dead. They must be there while the loved one goes, and they must let them know that they are sorry that they had to do so. Their loved one cannot take that long to leave, but cannot go too quickly.  
  
What does that mean, you ask yourself. Why should you let the person you love know that you are sorry that you had to be there while you passed away? That is a question that will undoubtedly follow you until you figure it out, which will hopefully be sometime before you or your loved one dies their Natural Death.  
  
You must prevent your loved one from Death. They cannot die from Sickness, from Old Age, or from Unnatural Death. They must be murdered.  
  
That is only the first step. The second that you must take is a form of sacrifice. Your loved one must be killed 75 hours before you begin your ritual. Then, one hour before you begin your ritual, you will take the body of your loved one and place it into the large cauldron that you will be preparing your potion in. Pour 4 liters of boiling water over their body and let it be for an hour. You have that hour to prepare for the potion.  
  
You need to gather 1 unicorn horn, 2 scoops of beetle eyes, 2 mice (dead) , and 7 pieces of your own hair. Drop them all into a small cauldron full of boiling hot water. Boil them together for 30 minutes, stirring only occasionally. Once the hour is up, pour the boiling potion that you just made over the body of your loved one, chanting Keo coo antre, deo doo bant three repetitive times as you do so. Once all of the contents of your smaller cauldron are poured into your larger cauldron, you must leave the cauldron alone for the next 24 hours.  
  
When the 24 hours is up, return to your cauldron and chant one more time, Keo coo antre, deo doo bant. Then, drink two thirds of your potion, and allow another 10 hours for the potion to go through your entire being.  
  
Once that has been accomplished, you will be Immortal, if the Gods should chose you to be.  
  
Side effects of the Immortality Potion are: extreme nausea, spells of weakness and not being able to think straight, dizziness, violent outbursts, and longing for the somebody that was killed.  
  
Tom stared at the book in confusion. He would have to kill his loved one in order to become Immortal? The only being in the entire universe that he had any feeling for was Courtney. Did that mean...?  
  
Shaking his head, Tom put the book away back up in his dorm, by his bed, still pondering what the book had read.  
  
The rest of Christmas break went by fairly quickly. The day before classes started came and all the students who had been away returned. Tom waited anxiously for Courtney's arrival; he wanted to see her again and he wanted to share the information he had gathered.  
  
Tom waited in the Common Room for her, wanting to catch her as soon as she entered. He wasn't the only one down there, waiting for friends. All the rest of the Slytherins who had stayed for break were also sitting and waiting there, but they all sat apart from one another, seeking solitude for the last quiet moments before the Common Room was overflowing once again with people.  
  
Right when Tom could have sworn that he was going to go crazy from the long wait, the entrance to the Common Room opened and the awaited for students entered. They entered in a rush, and soon overwhelmed the room. Tom stood up on a chair and scanned the small sea of heads, looking for Courtney. After several minutes of frantic searching, he found her in a corner, talking animatedly to her friends.  
  
Making a mental note of where she was located, Tom hopped lightly off the chair and waded towards his destination, finding it nearly impossible as he did so. The people just didn't want to part for him to get through!  
  
Grumbling colourfully to himself, Tom started pushing the people out of his way a little harder, hoping that they would get the point and move. Apparently, they did, because soon a small path was carved for him and the people allowed him to turn it any which way he needed...or wanted.  
  
Tom finally made it to his destination only to find that she had moved and was there no longer. Biting his lip to keep from letting out a scream of frustration, Tom thought of climbing up on another chair to find her, but was quickly abandoned the idea when he noticed that every seating place was being used. Grumbling again, he gave up and decided to go to the Great Hall and wait for dinner (it was in just a few minutes). Hopefully he would find Courtney down there.  
  
After wandering slowly out of the Common Room and into the Great Hall, Tom placed himself in his usual spot, prepared for a long wait while Courtney caught up with all her friends.   
  
'If only she didn't HAVE friends! Golly...why does she need more than me anyhow?' Tom thought bitterly, selfishly. He repeated the thought over again as he sat down, finding it oddly satisfying. He no more than sat down and a small rush of students entered the Great Hall for dinner. Tom dished himself a healthy sized meal of the food that appeared suddenly on the table and waited for Courtney to stop and talk.  
  
Only, something had to be wrong. What was taking her so long to come by? Didn't she care about him anymore? Or did she find somebody else over Christmas break to love? Or is she just (still ) catching up with her friends? Tom's head was spinning with the questions and he was nearly dizzy. He continued to slowly eat his dinner, hoping that she came and talked to him before he finished, for if he didn't, he planned on going back to the Common Room.  
  
He finished his meal and dished himself some dessert, simply because he wanted to buy her some more time. She would stop by soon, wouldn't she? She just had to! But, as Tom finished his second helping of dessert (even though he had filled up long ago), he knew she wasn't going to come talk to him, not tonight. At least, not here, in the Great Hall. Sighing resignedly, Tom stood up from the table and, slouching and staring at the floor, he headed back up to the Common Room.  
  
Right as he was walking out of the Great Hall, Tom heard feet plodding along behind him. Not knowing, and not caring, who it was, he continued to slouch along.  
  
"Tom! Wait up Tom!" came a breathless voice behind him. Wait up? He wasn't going all that fast, was he? He turned slowly around and looked up at the person who was just paces behind him now. Next thing he knew, he felt like he was being strangled to death...or maybe somebody was trying to squeeze him so hard his insides came out. Gasping for breathe, Tom pulled away and looked at his attacker.  
  
"Courtney! My gosh, you about killed me with that hug of yours!" Courtney raised her eyebrows in a fashion that said, 'Really?'  
  
"Did I really, Tom? You look OK to me...you don't LOOK like you are dying. You do look like you ate just a little too much though!" Courtney patted his stomach and smiled. Then she started talking 100 mile an hour. "Oh, Tom! I had soo much fun over break! The only thing that made it so that I didn't have as much fun was the fact that you weren't there. If you had been there, you could have met my family, seen my house, you could have even stayed with us! Oh...it would have been sooo much fun. Next year, we are going to my house for Christmas...and I don't care what you think. It will be soo much fun. Doncha think?" She paused there for breathe, and before she could get another word in, Tom grabbed her arm and half drug her toward the Common Room. Still chattering, she followed and was soon dragging him. Confused, Tom allowed her to drag him along, trying to listen to her non-stop chattering.  
  
It didn't take too long for them to reach their destination. When they reached the entrance, Courtney said the password without stopping from her original chatter. They entered the completely empty room and subconsciously headed towards a dark corner, with Courtney still chattering away. Tom, who had long ago lost track of what she was saying, ignored her. When they were in the darkest part of the corner, Tom put a finger to her lips to tell her to hush and when she did, she stared at him with wide eyes, eyes full of innocence. Smiling, Tom embraced her lightly inhaling her the smell of her hair, the smell of her body. They stood like that for several minutes, then Courtney pulled back slightly and searched his face, a unique look of longing on her face.  
  
Tom looked back at her, a similar look on his face. Then, they both leaned in and their lips met. A shot of pure joy shot through Tom at the first touch and he felt like his insides were melting. Their kiss lasted only seconds, but it was long enough. They pulled back again, and both of them blushing furiously, they broke apart and headed towards their respective dormitories.  
  
Right before Courtney disappeared into the stairs leading to her dorm, Tom called over, "Hey...I found something out over break. Meet me in here tomorrow morning, k? I will show you." Courtney smiled and nodded.  
  
"I found something too, I think. G'night." 


	5. Chapter Five

Tom and Courtney met, as scheduled, in the morning. They were both up fairly early, so there were very few other people up and about. They went right down to breakfast, neither mentioning the thought that was on both of their minds.  
  
Only when the two had entered the Great Hall, sat down at their table, dished themselves breakfast and were starting to eat was the subject brought up.  
  
"So...you mentioned last night that you found something...?" Courtney asked after a short time.  
  
Tom nodded as he swallowed what he had been chewing. "Yea. I think I found, OK, so I KNOW I found something. Something important."  
  
Courtney waited, obviously expecting him to continue. "And?" she pressed when he didn't.  
  
Tom hesitated, as if he were unsure that he wanted to tell her. He hesitated only a moment, however, then explained what he had learned briefly, leaving out a lot. He flashed her a grin.  
  
"OK, so, over break, I did some more research on becoming immortal. I found a book in the unrestricted section of the library that caught my attention. So, naturally, I checked it out, then spent hours reading it cover-to- cover. Let's just say that now I know how to become immortal."  
  
"Really? You know?" Tom nodded. "Well, how is it done?" Courtney asked enthusiastically.]  
  
Again, Tom hesitated. "Well...all it takes is a fairly simple potion, among a... ummm... few other minor things." Tom appeared more than a little uncomfortable, earning him concerned looks from Courtney.  
  
"You OK?"  
  
"Yea, I am fine. It's just that...well...there is a part of the potion that... um... makes me a little uncomfortable. That's all... it makes me uncomfortable."  
  
"What part makes you uncomfortable? Maybe-"  
  
"It's nothing! I promise," Tom lied.  
  
"OK... I was just going to say that maybe I should read this book... that way I can-"  
  
"You don't want to read it...trust me. It is...er...rather disturbing in places."  
  
"Read it and-"  
  
"You don't want to read it."  
  
"Try to understand-"  
  
"You don't want to do that either."  
  
"What you have to do," Courtney finished, glaring because of the interruptions.  
  
"You want to read and understand? The lunacy of the idea! Wh-" Now it was Tom's turn to be interrupted.  
  
"I want to read and understand. That is right. I think I have the right to, Tom, because your becoming immortal has something to do with my life, more closely than you may think. It will be a great change in my life, and you should know that! You are my boyfriend!! I love you, and you being immortal and me being mortal... that just won't work unless you tell me exactly how it is done! I am only going to be in your life for a small period of time after you become immortal, Tom. You don't seem to realize that. Unless, of course, I were to become immortal also..." Courtney trailed off, pondering her new thought.  
  
"If only you knew how much it would affect you. If only you knew." Tom mumbled quietly. If Courtney heard him, she ignored him, but Tom doubted she had even ? Did you just say...?"  
  
"Whatever, Tom. C'mon... let's go back to the Common Room and then you can fetch me that damned book."  
  
"Er... Right. Courtney... what about what you found?"  
  
"Oh... that. I just found some stuff on... er... how to lengthen a person's life... nothing big. What you found is much better."  
  
They headed up to the Common Room and Tom hesitantly went to get the book. He knew that he would have to bring it to her sooner or later and figured that he might as well get it over with sooner. He came back into the Common Room from his dormitory and handed her the 'damned book'.  
  
She took it from him, slightly surprised that he had actually given it to her without putting up all that much of a fight.  
  
"Thanks, Tom." She smiled charmingly at him. "I will just have to read this tonight... and certain parts that are more important than others?"  
  
"Er...no. None."  
  
Courtney smiled again then took the book to a comfy chair (coincidently the same one Tom had been in) and started reading the book. Tom sighed then wandered back up to his dormitory and got his stuff ready.  
  
Courtney read the book until just a few minutes before classes started, then she sprinted up to her dorm, grabbed her stuff, and came running back down. Her and Tom hurried to their first class, where Courtney read on the book every spare second she got.  
  
By the end of the day, Courtney had finished the book. She met Tom at breakfast the next day with wide eyes.  
  
"Tom, that book is kinda... er... weird. Are you really still thinking of becoming Immortal?"  
  
"Yes... I am determined to."  
  
"But... what if it doesn't work? Tom... you have to kill somebody to become Immortal! The book said after that that even then it is guaranteed that you will become Immortal."  
  
"I know. I am willing to take the chance."  
  
"Well... if you don't mind me asking, who would be your loved one that you had to... um... kill?"  
  
"Oh... erm... I don't know yet," Tom lied. Courtney could tell by the way he was suddenly avoiding her eyes that she was the loved one. She was going to be forced to give her life so that Tom could live forevermore.  
  
"Tom! This isn't fair! You would kill me for yourself! It isn't fair. It isn't fair. IT ISN'T FAAAIR!" She was screaming by the time she was done. Tom, who had been staring pointedly at his plate, looked up suddenly, and was surprised to see fat tears pouring like waterfalls down Courtney's cheeks. "I wanted to live my entire life with you, Tom. I don't want to give it up for your selfish wants! I'm not going to. I won't. You can't make me."  
  
A quick glance around the Hall confirmed that everybody who was up was watching the couple with interest. Tom shot out of his seat and helped Courtney from hers, preparing to escort her back to the Common Room where they could talk with a bit more privacy. Courtney, however, didn't want to go back to the Common Room.  
  
"Courtney, you are only going to succeed in embarrassing yourself! Stop it!" Tom hissed irritably in her ear. "Come on...let's talk about this up stairs. Come on."  
  
"NOOOO!! I AM NOT GOOOIIING!!!" The teachers were starting to raise eyebrows now.  
  
"OK, fine, Courtney, have it your way. But, for Merlin's sake, stop screeching like that!"  
  
Courtney took a deep breath to try to calm herself, then another and another. The people who had been watching started to turn back to their food, the buzz of conversation starting back up. Tom sighed with relief.  
  
"Tom... you aren't going to kill me, are you? You... you can't. Without me in your future... even if it is just for a little bit, I... you... we... oh! Chose somebody else, Tom. Chose somebody else!" Tears were rolling down her face again, but she was back to talking in a quiet voice.  
  
"You don't understand. There is nobody else. There isn't another being on this world that I love. Not one. I'm sorry."  
  
"I can make it so you don't love me too, you know. If need be, I will find you somebody you will love and let you sacrifice them for yourself... but I just want to spend all of eternity with you... nowhere but with you. I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready to die." She started mumbling her last sentence over and over to herself, somehow finding comfort in the words. Then she determinedly wiped the tears from her eyes, got up, and left.  
  
Tom stared after her, still a little startled at her reaction. He knew he shouldn't have expected much different, but he had. He had expected her to just take the news with a nod, and understand. He had wanted that. Why couldn't she at least pretend? Tom chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully before pushing his breakfast plate away from him and going to get his stuff for his first period. 


	6. Chapter Six

Courtney refused to talk to or even look at Tom for the rest of the day. Tom could tell that she was furious and kept his distance. He figured she would be over it soon and he bided his time do little things to pass time, awaiting the moment when she would come and speak to him.  
  
Tom was surprised, therefore, when the next morning at breakfast, Courtney joined her friends rather than him. He stared at her dejectedly for a few moments and then ate his breakfast, horribly disappointed that she hadn't gotten over it yet.  
  
He gave some thought to what she had said that day. She had told him to chose somebody else, and he had went through the list of all the people he knew. He had literally written down their names, and, staring at each name, he would decide if he actually loved that person. By the time he had gotten close to the bottom of the list, he knew it was useless. He didn't love anybody else. Courtney McRaven was his only love, he had to face it. And so did she.  
  
It was about that time that Tom realized that no matter what, even if there was another that he loved, killing that person would be hard and it would be a great loss to him. It didn't matter who it was; he was going to get hurt. He was pretty sure, however, that that was what the point of being strong enough was. If somebody had enough emotional strength to actually murder one that they loved then they would have enough emotional strength to be immortal.  
  
It occurred to him then that being immortal was living forever; he had known that before, but now it really hit him. Being immortal was living forever and ever, no getting sick and dying, no dying of old age. He doubted that he could even kill himself. After he became immortal, he would live forever unless somebody killed him. Did he want that?  
  
Of course he did. If he was immortal, then he was all but invincible. He would be able to rule all of England. All of the world, after a time. He could be the strongest wizard alive, and be feared and respected by all. Of course he wanted that; who wouldn't?  
  
He wanted nothing more than to share that joy with Courtney. Well, almost nothing more. He wanted to share that with Courtney second most on his list, being immortal being the first. She knew that, she had to. He wouldn't have even shared with her his deepest desire if he hadn't wanted to share that.  
  
Something jogged in the back of his thoughts. His thoughts returned once again to the conversation he had had yesterday with Courtney at breakfast. It wasn't fair, she had told him. But of course she knew that LIFE wasn't fair, right? Why should this be any different?  
  
He started to seethe with anger as he thought about it. Courtney had no right to be mad at him, it wasn't his fault that she was the only one he loved. It wasn't his fault that the book had told him that. And it most certainly hadn't been his fault that she had insisted on knowing how to become immortal. None of this was his fault, didn't she see that?  
  
Courtney stayed upset for the rest of the week and into the next. It became routine for Tom to get up, go down to breakfast, and wait for her to come sit with him, explaining that she was sorry. Tom would wait down there for a few minutes, eating, then Courtney would come out with her friends, glare at Tom, and go and eat breakfast with her friends. Then, after breakfast, Tom would follow Courtney and her friends to first period, where he would sit right behind Courtney or one of her friends. This continued for a couple months before Tom got sick of it. He finally broke the routine one morning. He waited in the Common Room in a chair hidden in a corner for Courtney and her friends to leave for breakfast.  
  
Courtney was the last one to leave the Common Room, or, almost leave the Common Room. She never left because Tom had snuck up behind her and grabbed her from behind, covering her mouth. Her girlfriends, oblivious to the snatching of their friend, left and continued down to breakfast without her; without noticing that she was gone.  
  
"Courtney, this has to stop! It is bull, and you know it! It isn't even my fault!" Tom hissed at her as soon as the entryway was closed. Courtney twisted out of his grip and turned to face him.  
  
"This doesn't have to stop. I don't love you anymore. Get over it. Get over me. I don't want anything to do with you any longer. And, if I learn that you have been following me or something, I will go straight to Professor Dippet and turn you in!" she hissed back.  
  
"You... you... you little bitch! That isn't fair, Courtney! I never did anything!"  
  
"But you did. You refuse to find somebody else to... to... KILL... and insist on using me for YOUR selfish wants! You obviously don't love me enough to want to share immortality with you!"  
  
"That is just it. I love you enough that I want to, Courtney, and that is just where the problem comes in. You happen to be the only one that I love. The potion won't work if I kill somebody that I don't love; you know, you read the book."  
  
"How can you share all of eternity with me if you kill me? Are you stupid or what!?"  
  
"I am sorry, Courtney, I really am. But there is nobody else."  
  
"There has to be. It isn't possible that I am the only person you love. It just isn't possible. Every human loves more than one person. I guess you just want to be the exception."  
  
"Are you trying to-" Tom stopped mid-sentence. He couldn't let her know that she was irritating him. This meeting had been his idea, after all.  
  
"Am I trying to what?"  
  
"Nothing...never mind." The idea occurred suddenly to him. He had to bait her somehow into helping him. He needed somebody else to love so that they could live together forever. Maybe he could let her help him. He was sure that one of her friends would suffice.  
  
"I really wish there was somebody else I loved. I really do. I don't mean to be 'inhuman' or anything...but it just seems that everybody hates me. How can I love somebody who hates me?"  
  
Courtney snorted. "I'm not going to fall for that. You want somebody to love, find them yourself. Oh, and, it is very possible for you to love somebody without them loving you. You are doing it right now. You love me and I do not love you. I could never love you again. Let me go."  
  
Tom opened and closed his mouth several times. How had she known that he had wanted her help? He glared at her, but let go of her arm, which he had been holding onto tightly through their conversation. Courtney turned around and ran out the of the room, hurrying to catch up to her friends, who she was sure had missed her by now.  
  
Tom stared after her, hurt somehow by her attitude. She didn't love him anymore, she had made that clear. Now what was he to do?  
  
He followed her down to breakfast, slowly, not wanting to catch up to her. He was halfway through his breakfast when he thought of something. The book had never said that the person had had to love him in return, had it? He stood up suddenly from his seat and ran out of the Great Hall. He sprinted back to the Slytherin Common Room and up to his dormitory, where he searched fervently for the book. He was getting desperate to find it when he finally did, in the door of his nightstand. He looked around the dormitory quickly and was relieved to see that there was nobody in there. He settled into his bed and quickly lit his wand so that he could read the book again.  
  
He skipped out of classes that day and spent the entire day reading. The reading went faster this time, having read it all before and knowing which parts to skip. He was finished by dinner.  
  
The book had said nothing about the 'Loved One' loving him back. As long as he loved them, it didn't matter if the feelings were mutual. So, if he truly loved Courtney, it didn't matter what her opinion of him was. He could still perform the ritual and become immortal. Tom sighed with relief. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Tom knew without a doubt that he still loved Courtney. None of that had changed. The only thing that had changed was her love for him. He repeated that over and over to himself, finding a strange kind of comfort in the thought.  
  
Once Tom was sure that he still loved Courtney, he started planning the best time to do the ritual. He could only do it on the last days of the term, otherwise she would be missed. And, if he did it on the last day of term, he would have to carry her body home, which he didn't really want to do. It was almost impossible for him to be able to do it anytime during the school year for those reasons. She would be missed and/or he would end up carrying her body with him everywhere for a couple days.  
  
The only other way to do it would be to stalk her the entire summer and catch her by herself. After thinking about a couple other ideas for a while, that is the one he decided on in the end. If he did it right, he would never be caught and she would be just put on the 'Missing Wizards and Witches' list.  
  
After Tom's confrontation with Courtney, he steered clear of her, as did she him. He tried to act as though he didn't care what she thought about him, though he felt that he did a terrible job at it. At times he could feel her eyes piercing him with their gaze, as if trying to read his mind to see if he still planned on killing her or not. When that happened, Tom would turn slowly around toward her and meet her gaze, which always made her turn away.  
  
Tom still had no friends, so he started to draw back into himself again. He became the loser kid who sat by himself at meals, sat by himself in classes, and who had a weird look about him. He was the weird kid who didn't have any friends and the kid who everybody hated. But Tom found he didn't care. If they wanted to think that about him, then let them. One day, he would show them. One day, when he was powerful, he would go and show them, the hard way. Or, he would get them to follow him. People followed people with power, and power was something he planned on having plenty of.  
  
With his withdrawal from the real world, Tom started reading more and more on power and how to get it. He paid close attention to the news and started listing down the people who annoyed him; the people he would kill first. He became obsessed with learning how to do the Unforgivable Curses, of which there were four. There was Avada Kedavra, the killing curse, the Imperius Curse, which allowed a witch or wizard to control another's mind, the Cruciatus Curse, which inflicted a lot of pain, and the Omniciento Legere, which allowed a wizard to read another's mind.  
  
Tom had used the killing curse before; on his father and his grandparents, but he had yet to use the other three. He memorized the incantation for them and would have used them on somebody at the school, if he hadn't known that he would surely be caught and expelled. So instead, he lured all the rats in the school to him and kept them in a large cage that we in his trunk. He kept the rats quiet with a simple charm so that nobody would hear them and suspect something. Then, in the middle of the night, he would gather a couple of the rats into a bag, still with the silencer charm on them, and leave the Slytherin Common Room and go to an abandoned classroom where he would quietly practice each of the four curses on the rats.  
  
When he first stared practicing on the rats, he did it for enjoyment, mostly. Then, after a couple days, he learned that he could learn stuff from what the rats were thinking. So, he went into a sort of routine. He would cast the mind reading curse on them and read their mind, then put the Cruciatus Curse on them for just a few seconds, then read their mind again. Then the Imperius Curse and make them do something stupid, then read their mind again. It got to the point where he would read their mind after everything he did to them, and he learned that their thoughts would change to how much the Cruciatus Curse hurt to wonder about the feeling of being controlled. Then, when he figured he had done enough experimenting with a rat, he would kill it, sometimes out of the pity of how much pain he had put it through.  
  
Tom practiced the curses on so many different rats, that he became an expert at each, but only when experimenting with rats. He greatly desired to experiment the mind reading curse on a human, but he didn't know how he could pull it off without getting caught. A solution to his minor problem came to him one day during Transfiguration. He was gazing at Dumbledore, almost asleep, when it came to him. Asleep. When somebody is asleep, he could cast the curse on them. There was almost no way they could sense that they were being cursed and wake up and catch him.  
  
To Tom's tired mind, the thought made perfect sense. It didn't occur to him that there were other people in the dormitory that could very possibly wake up and catch him. It didn't occur to him that he had to talk do the curse, increasing the chances that somebody would wake up. None of that occurred to his tired mind, only the thought that when somebody was sleeping, he could read their mind with ease.  
  
And so, since he hadn't been paying attention in Transfiguration in the first place, Tom started planning out, in his head, who, when and where to do the curse. At first, he couldn't really think of anybody that he would want to do the curse on; he had no desire to read the mind of just anyone. He was about to mentally run through a list of people when an obvious choice came to him. Courtney. He could read Courtney's mind and see what she thought about while she was asleep.  
  
It was a perfect choice. Who better to try this curse on than his ex? Now all he need was a when and where. Tom decided right as the bell was ringing and the class was being released, that he would wait for a time to come. He was certain he would get a good chance at it soon. How right he was.  
  
It was that evening that he had his chance. It was late, and people were starting to slowly filter out of the Common Room and into their dormitories. Tom stayed by himself in a corner studying for N.E.W.T.s and working on homework. Courtney was sitting on a couch with some of her girlfriends doing a group study thing that, to Tom, didn't appear to work very well. They were giggling and telling secrets more than they were studying.  
  
After about midnight or so, two of the girls had fallen asleep and the rest of them had retired to their beds. Tom, who was sitting behind the couch the two had fallen asleep on, waited for the rest of the Common Room to empty before getting up and checking who was sleeping.  
  
"Luck must be with me today. Two sleeping girls...and one of them just happens to be the one I was waiting for. Imagine that," Tom whispered to himself when he had identified them. He smiled slyly then pulled out his wand, pointing it to Courtney's friend first. "Omniciento Legere!" Tom said as quietly as he could while still being able to put the right amount of feel into it.  
  
A sense of control came over him then, one stronger than it ever was with the rats. Tom closed his eyes and let the girl's thoughts come into his mind. At first the girl seemed to fight a little in her sleep, but then the thoughts and the dreams came quickly, almost willingly. He discovered that she was dreaming about her crush, the well known Gryffindor who played Quidditch. She was dancing with him in her dream, but in a way Tom had never seen before. The two were on brooms, circling each other and holding hands. Tom watched her dream for a few seconds longer before letting it go in disgust. A Slytherin liking a Gryffindor. Disgusting.  
  
The other thoughts that Tom got from her were mostly about the girl's friends, the upcoming exams, and her life after she was graduated from Hogwarts. Completely boring.  
  
Tom opened his eyes and let go of the concentration that made the spell work. He then turned his wand on Courtney. "Omniciento Legere," he whispered softly and full of a couple different emotions. He closed his eyes and allowed her thoughts into his mind.  
  
Her thoughts were basically of the exams, her friend problems, her homework etc. Tom almost stopped the spell right there, but something made him stay put. Suddenly a strong emotion came flowing into his mind. It was an emotion that he knew all too well. It was filled with sadness and loneliness. Mixed into those was a small amount of anger and an emotion that almost made Tom break the connection from surprise. Fear tinged with a nice mix of love and hate. But mostly fear. The dominant emotion in it.  
  
What did she have to fear? Curious, Tom let go of the emotion and started in on the thoughts. And the answer was laid out for him clear as glass.  
  
She was sad that she had had to break off the relationship with Tom and lonely because of it as well. Her friends just couldn't fill in that gap that leaving him had made in her heart. The anger was because of Tom's goal and his willingness to do anything to accomplish it. She stilled loved him, but she hated him because of her being his only love. And that is where the fear came in. She was scared of him. She was scared of dying and scared of Tom killing her. She feared about how her parents would react if they found her dead and how her friends would take it. Tom was taken completely by surprise.  
  
Feeling he had done enough, he let go of the connection, deep in thought now. He hated himself, suddenly, for what he had put her through. And then he knew that on that last day of school, on the ride home on the Express, he would have to stalk her so that he could kill her, it was the only way. Tom turned then, away from the two girls and gathering his stuff up, went to bed. 


	8. Chapter Eight

The rest of the school year flew by, being as busy as it was. Tom found that he had to stop his rat experiments if he wanted to get enough sleep to stay awake for the day so that he could study for exams. And study for exams he did, every spare second he had. He didn't know why he did; his intuition told him that his scores wouldn't matter anyway for what he would end up being after he left Hogwarts. What he would end up being, he wasn't entirely sure just yet.  
  
The last week of school finally came. Almost all the students were stressing out about how they did on their exams so the grounds were unusually quiet, except for the odd child going outside in the sweltering heat to try to take their mind of their would be scores.  
  
To most, it appeared as if Tom was really curious about his test scores as well, but he wasn't. He was getting more and more nervous about what was coming for the summer. He just wanted to get it done and out of the way.  
  
He knew he wouldn't cherish killing Courtney, but he hadn't planned on the wait for the right time to be this-if you will-exciting. He was getting to the point where he insanely looked forward to it, though he knew it would only be painful for him to go through with it. But he never once doubted he could.  
  
The last day of school finally came and with it a farewell feast for all the seventh years who would be leaving. Tom was packed and ready to go before he had even gone to bed that night, which was, granted, very late. And he decided he could sneak in one more rat 'experiment'. So, he snuck off to his little place and tortured the rat like he had almost all of the more recent ones. It was insane, but he enjoyed it. He would put the Cruciatus Curse on a rat for an extended amount of time just to hear it squeak out little screams of pain and writhe around on the ground like a helpless snake.  
  
He rose with the sun in the morning, after a short three hours of sleep, and prepared himself to leave. He ran though, in his mind, one last time, his plan of stalking Courtney for the first day or so of summer before she became deceased.  
  
The day seemed to drag by as slow as could possibly be. The train ride back to King's Cross seemed to take the better part of forever. But, since he was by himself, Tom allowed himself a couple hour nap so that he would be awake and alert when he left the train station. He had to keep track of Courtney. Losing her would not do.  
  
When the train stopped, Tom got up with his stuff and got off the Hogwarts Express. He then stood by himself waiting for Courtney to disembark. While he waited, he concentrated on blending in and looking as inconspicuous as he could. It obviously worked because nobody so much as glanced twice at him.  
  
He waited patiently, knowing that being patient was something that he would be practicing a lot for the next couple days. It was odd, but now that it was coming closer to the time of him killing her, he wasn't nervous in the least; he actually felt relaxed and comfortable about what he was about to do.  
  
His wait was a short one. Courtney got off the train just a few minutes after Tom and stood on the platform, saying good-byes to her friends. Tom moved casually a little closer. He got as close as he could without being noticed. He was close enough to hear a little of their conversation, for which he congratulated himself; that had been his goal.  
  
"...my parent's house. Where are you going this summer?" One of Courtney's friends were saying. Tom counted three of them other than Courtney. He had to be careful that none of them noticed him.  
  
"My parent's house as well. But only for a while, I plan on moving over to Australia to see if I can get a job at their Ministry," One of the other three said.  
  
"My mum wanted to meet me at the Leaky Cauldron place next Wednesday. Seems that she is on vacation in America right now and won't be back until then. She wants me to stay there until then."  
  
Courtney was going to be at the Leaky Cauldron until Wednesday? A plan started forming itself in Tom's mind. He blocked out their voices now, trying to concentrate. It was simple, really. He had to arrive at the Leaky Cauldron before or after Courtney, preferably after, probably by a day or two. If he did it right, she wouldn't even know he was there until it was too late for her anyway. Tom nodded to himself then turned from the girls and casually as he could, left the platform. He shrunk his luggage to a size so small that he could put it in his pocket then walked through the barrier between the Muggle world and the Wizarding world. 


	9. Chapter Nine

He spent the next couple days biding his time in Knockturn Alley. He got a room at the little hotel they had there and stayed cooped up in there all day except for at meal times. Then, after he was sure that Courtney had gotten a room at the Leaky Cauldron, he crossed into Diagon Alley and got a room there as well.  
  
This time, instead of staying in his room, he wandered aimlessly around the Alley, looking at things that seemed like they may be interesting, sometimes pretending to be looking for a job or something. He went back to the pub for meals, and sat in the darkest corner he could find. He would sit in his corner and eat by himself, watching Courtney when she happened in. Then, on the Monday before her mum was supposed to be there, Tom followed Courtney out of the pub after their evening meal and kept behind her by about twenty feet. She did much the same thing as he did, wandered around, but Tom figured that it was more likely that she was looking at stuff for real, rather than just to pass time.  
  
Courtney didn't enter a single store, but looked in windows instead. She seemed to sense that somebody was following her because she would glance behind her ever so often and try to see if anybody was back there. She also, apparently, seemed to know that to find out who her follower was, she was going to have to lead him to a place where they could be alone. So she did. She didn't realize that could be the worst mistake she had ever made in her life.  
  
Tom followed her into a dark side street on the outskirts of Diagon Alley. She walked onto the street and leaned against a wall, obviously prepared to wait out her stalker. She was impatient though, and soon started fidgeting. Finally, after only ten minutes, she called out, "Who are you? I know you are there! Please, come out." Her voice was ringing with fear. Tom chuckled to himself. This was it.  
  
"It is just I, fair maiden. Be not afeared," he said, using weird words so that she wouldn't recognize him by voice and know that her time had come.  
  
"And who are you? 'I' can't possibly be your name, now, can it? Please, come out and let me have a look at your face."  
  
"Oh, I think not, dear. And, I think, you know who I am, deep in your heart. Think."  
  
"I don't know who yo-Wait. I think I might. But it isn't possible. You died a year and a half ago."  
  
"Did I, Dear One? I fear I don't remember dying. That must be a different somebody you are thinking of. Try again." Tom, who had donned a dark cloak with a hood, stepped out of the shadow just a little, but enough for her to see that there was somebody there.  
  
"If you aren't who I thought you were, then who are you?"  
  
"Dear, you do know. I am your biggest fear. Think about it." Tom took a step closer. She was only about ten steps away from her. He just had to keep her still and thinking about it.  
  
"My worst fear? How would you know what my worst fear is? My worst fear is- " She stopped suddenly and went quiet.  
  
"What is your worst fear, O Fair One? I promise you that it is none other than I." Tom let a hissy sound into his voice, to make it scarier, as he took another two small steps toward her.  
  
"My worst fear is none of your business! That is what it is! Go away!" Courtney about choked on the last couple words, so thick with fear were they.  
  
"Go away? Is that how you would talk to me? Not such a smart idea, Girl." Another couple shuffling steps.  
  
"Leave! I will call out for somebody to come help me! And don't think I won't!" she spat at him ruefully, her tone threatening.  
  
"No you won't, Miss. You know how I know?" Another step.  
  
"I will. Come any closer, and you will regret it. Now, leave! I demand of you, leave me alone!" She was shaking with fear now, and Tom could tell that he was really scaring her. But he only had to stall for a few minutes longer. Only a few more steps now.  
  
"What will you do, Miss McRaven? What will you do to one such as I? The most powerful sorcerer in all of England?" Three more steps. Almost there.  
  
"The most powerful sorcerer in England? I doubt it. What would you want with me?"  
  
"Think about it. You need only go back to January; just a couple months." One more step. Three or four to go.  
  
"January? What happened then that..." she trailed off, deep in thought.  
  
"Yes, Courtney, go back to January. What happened then? What?"  
  
"I was on Christmas Break for the first part of the month. Then I came back to-to-to that bastard, Tom, and he revealed that he had found a way to become Immortal. Then, I read that damn book of his that told him how and-" She stopped suddenly, eyes wide.  
  
"And?"  
  
"Get away from me, Tom! Go away! You won't have me without a fight!" Courtney took a deep breath and sniffed. Tom realized suddenly that there were tears pouring down her face.  
  
"A fight is it? So be it. Take out your wand, Courtney."  
  
"I hate you Tom! I hate you! Leave me alone! Find somebody else to kill! If you think about it, you don't love me either!" She stopped for a ragged breath. Then repeated, her voice full of tears now, "You don't love me either."  
  
"Yes, I do love you, Courtney. I do. And for that, you must pay."  
  
"Tom! Please don't! I don't think you can do it. You aren't strong enough. You can't be."  
  
"Take out your wand, girl. Take out your wand and fight me, since you don't want to be taken without a fight."  
  
Courtney pulled out her wand obligingly. "Tom, if you need me to, I will find you somebody else to love. I will. I promise, just don't kill me."  
  
"Now, we fight. Not duel, fight. To the death." 


	10. Chapter Ten

Tom pulled out his wand and flung the first curse that came to mind at her. The Cruciatus Curse. She was pushed over backwards by it, screaming in pain the second it hit her. Tom held it on her for as long as he dare; he didn't want to completely weaken her. She wanted a chance to fight him.  
  
As soon as he pulled the curse off her, she scrambled to her feet, and sent the same spell at him. It hit him, and this time it was Tom's turn to be thrown to the ground screaming in pain. Courtney wasn't as lenient as he was; she kept the curse on him for what seemed an eternity before pulling it up.  
  
Tom didn't bother getting to his feet before casting a spell on her. The first one to come to mind. He threw knives at her with this spell. Courtney fell flat to her stomach on the ground she saw them coming but not soon enough, a knife caught her in the shoulder. She screeched in pain when she landed on her front and the knife dug into her shoulder a little deeper. The knives that didn't hit her thudded uselessly against the wall behind her.  
  
Tom was surprised at how fast she was back on her feet. She glared daggers at Tom as she set the Cruciatus Curse on Tom yet again. She kept it on him as long as she could stand his yells of pain. When she took it off, Tom was angry. He weakly got to his feet and put the Imperius Curse on her. Then, since she was in his control, he made her pull the knife in her shoulder out as hard as she could, causing her to scream a bloodcurdling scream that Tom could have sworn would be heard somewhere. He then told her to take the knife and stab herself in the leg, which she did. She screamed louder this time and Tom took the curse off her.  
  
Courtney collapsed into a pathetic pile on the ground, blood soaking from her wounds. Tom almost went to her, half afraid he had killed her, but didn't. He simply stood there watching her limp form for a few minutes, half hoping that she would do something, half hoping that he had killed her and accomplished his goal. After a few minutes, the pile of Courtney began to twitch a little, then move, and finally the girl sat then stood up.  
  
Tom couldn't believe his eyes. How could she still have enough strength to stand? She had been stabbed twice and under the Cruciatus curse once. How was she still alive?  
  
It was then that he made the mistake. He looked into her eyes. They were soaked with tears and filled with a couple different kinds of pain, but there was an emptiness Tom knew he had caused. He didn't look long, scared by what he saw, but just one glance was enough. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't. He loved her. The most he could do for her was put her out of her misery quick, with a single curse, those two words and lift of his wand, and she would suffer no more. How hard would it be to do that?  
  
Nodding to himself as it to prepare himself, he lifted his wand and pointed it at her chest. He stood like that for a few minutes, his hand; his entire arm, shaking, trembling. It couldn't be that hard. He had killed before. He could do it again. What was stopping him?  
  
'Do it, just do it. Get it over with. The longer you stand here, the longer she suffers. You are making your only love suffer, fool. Help her; kill her. It is the only way. Just do it!' His mind was trying to convince him, he realized suddenly. But did he need convincing? All he had to do was say those two words, just those two simple words.  
  
Courtney just stood there, opposite him, her arms at her side. The look she gave him dared him, openly, to do what he was obviously trying to do. "Just get it over with Tom. Either do it, or don't. Don't stand there like the fool you are. I might decide to kill you and take immortality for myself." She broke the silence that was settling around them so suddenly, that Tom almost dropped his wand. But he held tight to it, his wand pointed at her chest, his mind telling him to just spit out the words, his heart telling him it would break if he did.  
  
He nodded one last time to himself and took a deep, steadying breath to make himself stop shaking. "Courtney, I love you, and what I am about to do has nothing to do with anything about you. I'm sorry for all the times I have ever hurt you. I never meant it. I'm so sorry. Good-bye."  
  
Courtney, obviously not expecting those words to come out his mouth, looked slightly startled, but didn't say or do anything. She just continued to stand there. Tom opened his mouth to say the words, to end her life. "Avada Kedavra," he whispered weakly, so quietly that he could hardly hear himself say them, much less expect them to do anything. A thin, weak green light managed to push itself out of the end of his wand, but it seemed to fade away before it had hardly moved away from his wand.  
  
Courtney started laughing then, amused by his pitiful attempt at the Killing Curse. Tom glared at her, aimed again at her chest, and tried again. "Avada Kedavra!" he shouted, loud as he could, and a green light came shooting out the end of his wand to hit Courtney square in the chest.  
  
Courtney flew over backwards, her body as stiff as a board the moment the curse hit her. She landed with such a sickening thud on the ground that Tom felt sick. He stared at her stiff body for a moment, then fell to his knees, tears pouring out of his eyes. You did it, fool, why are you crying? You got it over with! You will be immortal in just a few days from now! WHY ARE YOU CRYING? But he continued to cry, though he knew that he had accomplished his goal, of her death anyway. The hard part.  
  
Tom struggled to his feet and stumbled his way over to her, his sight blurred by the unwanted tears. He managed, somehow, to make it to her side, where he stumbled, almost gratefully, to his knees. Make sure she is dead, something said in the back of his mind. He gently took hold of her wrist and felt for a pulse.  
  
Tom was shaking so badly he couldn't tell if what he felt was her pulses or just him trembling. Angry at himself for not being able to hold still, he dropped her wrist and put his ear to her chest, listening for a heartbeat. When he heard her heart beating strongly within her, he closed his eyes, disappointed yet happy. He knew what had happened. He hadn't been able to put the right emotion into the spell and it therefore hadn't done what he had wanted it to. It had only knocked her out.  
  
He straightened up a little bit and stared down at her. She was defenseless right now. He could easily kill her, have it done with. Tom took out his wand, pointed it at her forehead, but instead of the Killing Curse, he said, "Obliviate!" Then he got up, dusted off himself as best he could, wiped the tears from his face, and left her there.  
  
He hurried back to the Leaky Cauldron, where he cleaned himself up, packed his stuff together, paid the owner, and left. Then, with his stuff in his pocket, much as it had been when he had come, Tom walked through London. He didn't even look back once at what would have been a good life. He had a different path now. He would follow it and take what it brought him. Maybe money. Hopefully power. No doubt, however, that it would be easier than leaving his one and only love, Courtney. He would miss her, but life would go on. He would be a sorcerer that all of the world would remember. These were just the first steps into that world. 


End file.
